Swinging back the other way now, I find myself settling into my former identity. I shake my head at myself: I seem to have more identities than a spy. I enjoy mass and belief in a God, but I also meditate, read the Dalai Lama's teachings, and still have a fond affection for my Buddhist brothers and sisters. Buddhism is less a religion (for me) and more a way of life (which, ideally, is what religion shouls be: action and example rather than empty beliefs and doctrine). It often comes into conflict with the seemingly warlike Christianity I am a product of, but I figure it is better to err on the side of nonviolence. I worry a little about this pendulum-like habit. The one consolation I have is that I think I'm swinging back to my true self this time. I feel like I'm greeting an old friend, and not a new and enthralling one. Perhaps I was simply readjusting myself to the new things that have entered my life (college, a boyfriend, moving out), a sort of psychological homeostasis. Whatever the case, I think I may have finally found a little peace. And I'm enjoying it.