Whispering Wind

I had forgotten my quilt under my bed for a couple of weeks. It was shoved under there in a flurry of cleaning, and I haven't worked on it in some time. Getting it out again yesterday and practicing my embroidery skills still in their infancy was just the soothing, productive thing I needed. I have so much nervous energy that it seems wiser to pour it into something useful and beautiful than waste away worrying. I had become a bit too zealous about simplifying and inadvertently cut out several things that make me happy. Quilting, for one, and also the recitation of mantras. I was unsure as to whether I should pick up the Buddhist practice again, after my conversion to a more Western religion, but I hope God would be happy that I am finding ways to calm myself periodically when I feel stressed. He put the wisdom of Buddhism on the Earth for people of that disposition. I have to give the Buddhist way of life a lot of credit.Without my understanding of its teachings and practice of meditation, I would have never developed my inner self enough to re-realize the Christianity of my upbringing. I’d like to think that the Buddha and Jesus would have been great friends.

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Any tips out there for holistic or homeopathic backache remedies? I'm a fan of those sticky heat pads you can buy at the store and stick where you need them, but I'm sure there are other things one can do without taking pain medication.

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Kids are the one thing that can brighten up my day no matter what mood I'm in, and today I had a heavy dose of them and their ranbuncious, contagious purity and love.--- Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."--Luke 18:15-17

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Periodically, I try to find moments during the day where I stop and sit for a moment, and just let time pass. It really makes a difference. Even if it's only for a couple minutes, I let the world move around me and simply sit, emptying my mind and re-connecting with my dulled senses. And let my little rat heart stop its ferocious beating.

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As I think more and more in depth on the way society tells me I should live, I feel isolated, alone, and piled with responsibility. From the moment we are born, we are trained to be self-reliant, self-validating, and self-fulfilling. I watch specials on the National Geographic Channel about vilages in Mongolia and Alaska, Finland and India, that help each other and support each other, working as a unit for the benefit of everyone. Children in these communities seem to have better social skills, work ethics, values and respect for elders. I look at my society and I see individualism almost to the extent of egoism, competition, declining values and ethics in favor of gross consumerism, and our elders being locked away because of a growing obsession with youth and new things. One alternative is intentional communities, wonderful examples of humans living out their values. They seem to realize that we are all responsible for each other, not just for ourselves. Their way of life is hard and requires patience and sacrifice, but I believe the rewards are great. For those who do not wish to shut themselves off from society, for those who have strong family ties that keep them in the mainstream world, what is to be done to foster that sense of community when you may live hundreds of miles from your nearest relative? While the extent is up to the individual, I think it is important to form webs of people who encourage one another in living simply and abiding by the principals of social responsibility. Whether this may mean joining a co-op, buying free trade items, starting a compost pile, switching to organic vegetables, or even something as simple as sending cards to forgotten nursing home rsidents or volunteering at a soup kitchen, every conscious decision a person makes helps to embrace a joyful gift of themselves to others.

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1.It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting. 2.When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. 3.Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired. 4.Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. 5.Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside. 6.If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. 7.All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode. 8.Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. 9.Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other. 10.Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving. 11.The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris. 12.Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty). 13.If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. 14.On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard… 15.All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out). 16.If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor. 17.If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback. 18.Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one. 19.All single women have a cat. 20.Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet. 21.No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged. 22.If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. 23.The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected. 24.You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 25.A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium. 26.It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly. 27.One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone's Law). 28.When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish. 29.Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair. 30.Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks. 31.All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her. 32.Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 33.During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. . 34.Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers. 35.In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets. 36.All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present.

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The first question that the gospel sets out to answer for us is Who are you? That's the question of spirituality. And of course we're told right at the beginning, on our baptismal day, "You are a beloved." All our life we hope to raise up our eyes and see someone looking at us and speaking that answer to our basic spiritual question. Hopefully our parents looked into our eyes, told us we were beautiful and kissed us endlessly. All of our lives we hope for that to be repeated and for someone to tell us what our soul of souls and our heart of hearts knows: I'm special, I'm good, I'm a beloved somewhere. We long for it to be repeated because we know it's the truth, the only truth, for which we were created. The second question the gospel asks is one of sexuality: Can we love? Whatever this life is, whatever this identity is that I'm finding inside of myself, I'm never going to be totally sure of it until it's received by another. I don't know I have power within until I can hand over that power to another. In the eternal learning how to had it over and to have it received, we answer the real questions of sexuality: Can I be a loving, intimate person? Can I walk through those doors of fear into intimacy? Can I reveal my true soul to at least one person? Can I take the big risk and somehow discover who I am in another's eyes? Finally, the gospel helps us ask: Can I create? Everyone must be creative. We'll never discover that place of passion within until we find our creative place, that place where we can create life in another, in the world, in our backyard. Love is of one piece. We either love everybody or we do not really love. so after we talk about spirituality and after we talk about sexuality, finally we have to talk about service. We can't love our family and hate our enemies. We either love all things (to be "in love") or we don't really love anything.

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I've been in a community college for two years, and in the fall I will transfer and live on my own for the first time in my life. And it seems everything I've worked for is finally paying off! I've been accepted to my favorite college (that has a stellar teaching program) and basically guaranteed a great apartment! When they look at my transcript and see my 3.6 GPA, I guess they start hopping; trying to accommodate me. God bless my parents for putting me in private schools K-12 so I could be challenged to fullest of my abilities. God bless the Catholic school system. Things are looking up!!!

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What do you say to a guy that drives 6 hours to show up at the foot of your stairs and utterly surprise you the weekend before Valentine's Day? How do you tell him that you are in love with him in a way that puts life to your thoughts? How do you describe that feeling whenever you look into his eyes full of love? I love this man. And I thank God every minute for sending him to me.

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This past week has really taken it out of me. I'm exhausted. Check it out...a fetal yawn! :)

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Today I read Mark 7:24-30. It reads: "And from thence he arose, and went into the borders of Tyre and Sidon, and entered into an house, and would have no man know [it]: but he could not be hid. For a [certain] woman, whose young daughter had an unclean spirit, heard of him, and came and fell at his feet: The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation; and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter. But Jesus said unto her, Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast [it] unto the dogs. And she answered and said unto him, Yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs. And he said unto her, For this saying go thy way; the devil is gone out of thy daughter. And when she was come to her house, she found the devil gone out, and her daughter laid upon the bed." Besides the heartwarming properties this passage has about having faith in the power of Christ, the phrase "the dogs" has a meaning that most people are not aware of, and one the disquiets me. The woman was a Greek. In the time of Jesus, anyone not a Jew, especially Greeks, were considered "dogs", (racially inferior) and often were the subject of ridcule and animosity. The Greeks were basically treated like the way we treat and view poor Latino immigrants and destitute blacks. The Greeks lived in a segregated part of cities, and they were considered unclean for the Jews to mingle with. The Jews were called "the children" of God. They were the chosen people, and they made sure everybody knew it. Since everyone (Jews included) were under Roman rule, often Jews treated pagans even more harshly, as though exercising the only power they had left. So why does Jesus call this woman a dog, and say that the "children" (Jews) should be healed an preached to first? Is the quick woman's wit enough to impress him and warrant her daugher's healing? Or does he use her as an example? In any case, I wonder....

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The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."

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Wow. I had such an amazing time last night. It was definitely NOT what I expected. I had expected to sit down and listen to some Christian music, and go home sort of bored but glad I got out of the house. But instead, I was blown away by a praise and worship session the likes of which I've never been to before. Thank you Chris Tomlin, for being a wonderful instrument. Even though I'm a bit tired, I feel refreshed.

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After church I came home and decided that today was the day I was going to attack the mess of a woodpile in the backyard. So I spent 5 hours out there throwing logs all over the place and waddling like a pregnant woman trying to carry the big ones. It was a pretty mild day and the sun was out (I think it was nearly 40 F) and I found myself sweating like a pig, but as the sun went down at 6, I had turned a mess into a neatly stacked woodpile that takes up a fourth of the space it did before. I basically just tore the preexisting pile apart, drove some scrap two by fours into the ground with a sledge on either side of the pile to shore it up and provide support, and then went to work stacking. I also took apart some old fence we had lying around and made that into a manageable firewood pile. I found some great old boards I'll use in the spring for making a raised bed for my garden, and I set up the old Christmas tree so the birds can use it as shelter for the rest of the winter. Surprisingly, I didn't run into any animal friends as I was tearing apart the woodpile. Dad was concerned there would be a badger or woodchuck or raccoon in there that would attack as I ripped open its nice dry home. They can get kinda mean when you corner them. But the most ferocious thing I ran into today was a couple of really huge, black, hairy, and very lethargic spiders. They were hanging out with a white fuzzy egg sac under the bark of one of the smaller logs. When I lifted up a piece of the bark to get a closer look at the big insect-looking leg I saw move underneath, they moved back under in slow motion, and one lost his grip and fell off into the sawdust. It took a lot of coaxing to get him back with his companion. They reminded me of my sister in the morning. :) I am SORE! But one of the greatest thrills in life comes from doing a job well. I really find fulfillment in work.

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It has been asked of me that I post where I am from. That is a bit more complicated than one would think. My ethnic background is Irish/Scottish, Hungarian, British, and German. I am both a Canadian citizen and an American. I live in America, in the midwest of all places. So I love Riverdance and bagpipes, the BBC, the Anabaptist movement and the alps, and the Roma of Eastern Europe. There are many cultures that I hold near and dear to me, often for reasons I don't know other than tha fact that I feel afinity for them. I am well versed in Spanish, and can understand quite a bit of Hindi. I can read a bit of Tibetan as well.

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It's Friday and I am lucky enough to have the day off! What am I going to do with my time you ask? After school I am going to bake!! Lots and lots of cookies. Chocolate chip, double chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin... Makes me wish a certain guy of mine lived closer. Mailing cookies just doesn't have the same effect as fresh out of the oven. Any recipes out there that I just HAVE to try?

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My child development class went to observe the childcare facility at my school, and the classroom that I was assigned to had a very shy and potentially troubled young boy, who the teachers seemed to ignore and let do his own thing. While I probably should have taken a cue from the "teachers" (I have a hard time with someone who calls herself Miss Ann or Miss Julie being called a teacher, a title I associate with respect and authroity. That may be the way I was raised, though. I did not grow up in the touchy-feely-use-your-wor ds era of today.) However, with this boy I decided to try and talk to him about the drawings he was making of Superman and Batman, which were very talented, by age standards. He glared at me and turned away, covering his work. I think he was a little self-conscious by the fact that 9 college students were staring at him. I felt like I had done something wrong, and at the same time, I felt angry. I wanted to find his mother and ask her why she raised her child to be so fearful and lonely. Obviously he wasn't getting enough love. My heart felt rent by this poor lonely child, in whom I recognized much of myself. I wanted to coddle him and tell him how much he was loved and how special he was. Of course I made no attempt to. His initial reaction told me, "Back off, you don't know me." So in true animal instinct, I recognized a more formidable opponent and backed off. And what do I know, really? Who am I to make judgenments about what he needs or how he's raised? I'm a young woman full of idealism and starry-eyed morality. I know nothing about this child. And all the same, the maternal instinct turned on, and I'm left with the feeling that I want to nurture someone. I guess I'll go home and take care of my sick mother...

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I have been blown away lately, by an inner and outer conversion of the soul. This morning was just the thing to top it off. The sunrise was amazing. Most people just stare at the road and grumble at the early hour when they're driving, and I'm guilty of it too, but today took my breath away. There was a front coming from the south that had high, icy clouds that glinted wth blue and purple, with big puffs of closer mauve clouds. All at once, the sky was on fire; bright yellow and orange, and red near the ground, and the disc of the sun rose out of the purple, making everything look liquid and golden. I nearly went straight through a turn because I didn't want to go around the corner and not see it. But when I cam back around, it was right there waiting for me, although it had changed a little, now much more white-yellow, and hard to look at. It warmed my bones and I thought of God, and my heart was lifted. I have a long road ahead, soul-wise, and it's an everyday battle. But today, I was granted a break in the clouds.

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